Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Why I hate dresses


Another family wedding to go to on Friday. Despite being single and, at times, embittered, I love weddings. I love weddings involving my family most of all. It's a guarantee that by the end of the evening someone will end up crying in the loos, someone will have to go home early because they haven't paced themselves, someone will have fallen over and flashed their knickers, every female present will have long ago discarded their crippling shoes somewhere on the dance floor and people will be drinking Courvoisier because there will be nothing else left behind the bar.

The thing is I can never get the outfit right. I always end up feeling uncomfortable, hemmed in, tummy control knickers cutting off my circulation. I bought a great dress two months ago but, because of exercise and dieting, it now resembles a beige sack. I have spent the last two days traipsing around the shops and sobbing in stuffy dressing rooms and have come up empty handed. I have decided to wear the beige sack anyway. At least it won't be too tight for a change and it won't matter once I've downed a few glasses of wine.

Thursday, 5 August 2010

A busy little bee






Last Thursday my cousin Jenny got married. Three weeks ago we had the most relentless, scoffothon of a hen do i have ever been on (i have resisted the urge to publish the photo of the naked play doh man) complete with the required amount of silly games. One silly game involved every hen bringing along a pair of her knickers; these were strung up on a line and we had to guess whose pants where whose. Every body got mine right. Even people i don't know very well guessed mine. Apparently they were "my kind of colour", all sort of muted and pale, which is generally how i dress. If you look at the inside of my wardrobe, one of the first things you notice (apart from my obsessive tidiness) is that everything is greyish (greyish pink, greyish blue) or beige.
I love that my paintings are completely different. This must be where all my colour goes.